Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Overheard In Austin

The other evening as some friends and I were walking back to our cars after a lovely late-night swim at Barton Springs, I overheard something I cannot get out of my head. Has that ever happened to you? You hear somebody you don't know say something you don't understand about somebody or something you are completely unaware of, and WHAM! You're hooked. Well it happens to me all the time.

For example, a few months ago I was in the airport and I spent an eternity trying to figure out what on earth a certain young lady had done to the older gentleman by her side when i heard him to say to her, "I cannot believe you just did that." I think it was the way he said it that grabbed my attention, really. No disgust, no excitement, no quiet resignation. It was completely flat, as if he were a robotic voice. "I-can-not-be-lieve-you-just-did-that."

Well? WHAT?! WHAT DID SHE DO?! Are they related? Is he her father? Maybe he is her father's best friend and they are embarking upon a torrid and taboo affair of love. And she... I don't know. Left her parents a note, telling them what she was doing... AND WITH WHOM. "Oh great, now not only am I going to jail, but your father will kill me. I cannot believe you just did that." Maybe he's her science teacher and they were on the way to the National Science Fair Championship of the Universe and she... I don't know. Forgot to pack the baking soda. "Oh, great. Now the model volcano won't erupt. I cannot believe you just did that."

Ach. So many possibilities, so few answers.

Well this is what I heard the other day, and for the life of me, I cannot figure out what they might have been talking about, so I'm enlisting your help, blog. It was a group of men and women in their twenties, slightly hipster-hippie looking, and one poorly-shaven young guy said, in tones of incredulous certainty, "No, sex makes it worse!" Got that? Incredulous certainty. That's what's got me going around in circles. I mean, if it were... I don't know. Something that OBVIOUSLY sex would make it worse, then he wouldn't have sounded so incredulous, would he. Moreover, his comment sounded as if he were answering somebody's suggestion that perhaps sex would make "it," whatever "it" is, better. Like he's tried it and, much to his surprise, sex made it worse. I am truly stumped.

So.... what were they talking about? On your marks, get set..... Go.

10 comments:

Kate said...

Oh boy am I really looking forward to the other comments on this post!! Should be interesting...

I am having a series of brain farts today and cannot think of anything clever.

We are flying to Houston this weekend to check things out. Hooray!!

Frank Irwin said...

My guess would be hemorrhoids or his relationship with his sister.

Here's Overheard in New York, Overheard in the Office, and Overheard Everywhere. Too bad there's no Overheard in Austin.

Cheasty said...

Kate - good luck in houston!

Frank - ew. that second one made me kind of throw up in my mouth. thans for the links!

Jenna said...

Oooh, this could be a really funny list of comments to read but unfortunately I can't come up with anything humorous as I'm trying to realistically figure out 1. What would your Average Joe think would make this guy's problem better with sex and 2. What might not actually be better during/after sex?
All I can come up with is that this guy is in a state of general anxiety/restlessness and he so badly wants to relax and forget about the world. He thought sex would help him chill out but instead he just got more anxious )perhaps because he didn't really know the girl he was hooking up with). :)

Cheasty said...

JENNA. you are a genius. THAT MUST BE IT! IT'S THE ONLY LOGICAL ANSWER!! Oh, I feel such a profound sense of relief.

onebadmamajama said...

I don't know, but I love to eavesdrop on strangers too LOL You can find out some really interesting shit that way!

Anonymous said...

i have nothing to offer. maybe the guy was saying that sex makes his herpes worse? oh right, you said "incredulous." whatever.

i do have to tell you that this post made me LOL. and i do the SAME thing. i absolutely OBSESS over this kind of thing! one day, i was riding down the elevator in my office building. a gentleman got on to ride with me (i'm on the 8th floor). he said something to me, no idea what. i giggled as if i knew what he said. and, as he got off the elevator he said, "hope i didn't ruin your day."

WHAT THE FUCK?! did he say, "ugly hair."? did he say, "not a wise decision wearing those shoes."?

if i ever see him again, i'm going to ask him. this happened months ago and i still obsess over it on a weekly basis.

Cheasty said...

anon, you made me laugh out loud at that one. what a weird thing to say! be sure and let me know if you ever do meet him again and find out what he said.

Anonymous said...

all i have to say is that i have learned my lesson about eavesdropping when i almost did the new jersey table flip.

Anonymous said...

go back to Barton Springs and find out, Cheastypants!

-Cookie