Monday, February 18, 2008

My Life Is Glamorous and Exciting

I am a jet setter. I do more fun things on any given day than anybody else on the planet. If I were a superhero, my name would be Captain GlamourFun. Take today, for example. I started the day by glamorously hitting the snooze button somewhere between 10 and 50 times, then staggered into the bathroom and stared in the mirror for about five fun-filled minutes, debating whether I needed to take a shower. In the end, I decided I was so naturally resplendent that bathing couldn't possibly enhance my beauty. After elegantly breakfasting on gold-plated breakfast cereal, I hopped on my very exciting bike, and rode glamorously into campus, where I proceeded to take dazzling notes on the American Revolution. Everybody noted (with some jealousy, I'm sure) the flair and style with which my dainty fingertips skipped and flew about the keyboard. Then, with a carefree smile and insouciant wave of my hand, I proceeded to the gymnasium, an ethereal cloud of my bouncing, shining, glorious hair flowing out behind me in the gentle breeze of my elegance. I proceeded to gracefully mount a diamond-studded exercise machine and become, over the course of the next 30 minutes, progressively more slender and lithe of form. When I was done, a gathering circle of admirers offered a polite round of applause. I consented to sign a few autographs, and then swished out of the building in high style. I effortlessly rode my exciting bike home, cresting each hill with little visible effort. I made a delicious plate of caviar for lunch, sipped casually at my glass of champagne, and summoned my stylist to once again render me gorgeous. At this point it is 2 p.m. Who knows what glamorous and exciting adventures await me in the second half of the day. Will I attend an opening gala at a swanky art gallery? Be photographed by the throngs of adoring paparazzi that follow me at a cautious and respectful distance? Or will I simply dissolve in a cloud of sparkly dust, having become entirely too fabulous for one human body to contain such grandeur?

In actual news of my glamorous and exciting life, I did do two exceptionally fun things this weekend. First, I went to visit my good friend Reeno in San Antonio. Hi, Reeno! You are wonderful!

She's got babies. They're both adorable, but the most fun of all was playing with the teeny little girl baby at dinner time. I have never in my life seen a child get this much food on their face while they eat.

I said as much to Reeno, and she (ever the enterprising jokester) showed me just how much fun food on the face can be. "Look," she said. "You can just stick all the rest of her food to the goop, and then she just picks it off her face and eats it herself!"

It's true, you know. She did eat all the food we stuck to her face.

In other news of Amazing Cheastypants and my glamorous and exciting life, on Saturday night I went to a sold out show at the Zona Rosa to see Rodrigo y Gabriela, the Mexican guitar duo. They kick ass. If you've never heard them, or even if you only want to hear them again for the very first time, watch this video. The concert was spectacular. High energy, packed, phenomenal, and fun. And shrimpy little me and my almost-as-shrimpy friend the Samurai Warrior were even able to find a wee spot off to the side and pretty close up where we could ACTUALLY SEE THE SHOW. wow!


Alison said...

You are glamorous! Here you were making me think MY life had glamour, (especially or only whilst strolling through groceries stores), but I see now, that it's really you. Sounds like a great day. And children with food on their face, that their mother put there. It's just wonderful. She'll be really easily black-mailed when she's in middle school of anyone gets a hold of those shots...

carymc said...

That's a cute baby (aren't they all?). And insouciant is such a great word.