Monday, June 23, 2008

I Never Thought I'd Love a Man Who Smells of Aquavelva.

I had an absolutely amazing dream the other night, that wasn't like a dream at all. It was more like a night at the movies, and I was the main character. Nothing about my life was actual true life (though it felt very real) but it was absolutely riveting. In fact, it bore a striking resemblance to the plot of a romance novel. Also, it was a commercial for Aquavelva. Strange, considering I've never even smelled it, at least not to my knowledge. But I do like the feel of saying Aquavelva. It feels posh in my mouth, and rolls smoothly off the tongue.

In the movi-- er, dream, I was a plucky young beauty struggling to protect my defenseless younger siblings from the predations of a drug lord intent on kidnapping them. The author of my dream neglected to inform me why, exactly, this drug lord had targeted my little brother and sisters, but that's sort of beside the point. It was bad enough that he'd kidnapped them and wanted to use them for drug runners and other nefarious purposes. The only man I could turn to was a cop whom I initially found less than impressive. Imagine Dennis Leary, but better looking and more muscular, and a non-smoker. Also, with darker hair, and a delightful 5 o'clock shadow. And a devilish grin. OK, so not really like Dennis Leary, at all, but I'm drawing a blank on famous people look-alikes. All in all, he was a bit of a roughneck, really, and he smelled of Aquavelva, which in my dream was the sartorial equivalent to wearing Axe body spray. In a word, cheap and disgusting. But his brave and heroic performance as he helped me defeat the drug lord and rescue my family (trust me, it was dramatic and exciting) allowed me to see past the less charming aspects of his character and fall for his heart of gold. And as the movi-- DREAM, faded to a close, I stood in his arms and said in tones of wonderment, "I never thought I'd love a man who smelled of Aquavelva." Then he kissed me. Fade to black.

Isn't that the most bizarre? I mean, Aquavelva? And I CANNOT get that line out of my head. I keep saying it over and over in my head. I never thought I'd love a man who smelled of Aquavelva. Try it out yourself. I never thought I'd love a man who smelled of Aquavelva. **sigh** Now I really want to meet an Aquavelva Man.

Off to the drug store now to find out what that stuff actually smells like.

6 comments:

Renny said...

Sounds to me like Clive Owen would be a better casting choice than Dennis Leary. Just saying.

Alison said...

What a line to end a dream with! Love it!

tracey said...

aquavelva actually smells like a cross between the interior of a 1974 Vega & what i think polyester would smell like if it had a smell.

Ashesh said...

Catchy line!! You might want to pitch it to the Aquavelva people!! :)

Judy said...

Is that Aquavelva I smell or are you just happy to see me? :P

Cheasty said...

ha ha! i told a friend of mine about the dream and she was all, "oh, like the rice-a-roni song. sometimes I can't get that out of my head." so now I'm walking around singing "Aaaaaaa-quavelva. The San Francisco treat!"

sheesh.