A Modern Love Story

I suppose I should've been alert to the fact that, when I started dating the most handsome and wonderful man in the universe, other, less moral individuals, might try to edge me out. They might mistake me for a milksop, the kind of woman who'd give up her man without a fight. I might have kept my eyes more wide open, and staked my claim more publicly, but even if I had, I never would've seen it coming from whence it came: my little brother Bug. (Don't be fooled by that adorable smile!)



Well, Bug, you'd better watch it, buddy. I am not about to give this guy up without a fight. So you can hold hands with him,



And you can frolic in the water with him, leaping and splashing and jumping about.



You can share your favorite little dog with him,



And you can even let him spin you around and around



and around and around in the water.



And when it's time for us to head back to Texas, you can cover him up with all the Guys so I can't find him and make him come to the plane with me.



But I'm older and wilier than you, young Skywalker. I see his hand, waving at me from behind Brown Bear. So I tell you what, little Bug. I'm also a nice lady, and I love you an awful lot, so here's a deal. If you promise not to steal Handsome away from me...

I'll share him with you.



And we can all live happily ever after.



The end.