Monday, September 14, 2009

Kindergarten Kidlet

Dear Bug,

Well my little brother, I was talking to our mother on the phone yesterday and I found out that you've recently started kindergarten, and I just want to say WHAT THE F&CK. Kindergarten? KINDERGARTEN? Do you not even realize what that means, Buggo? It means you're getting old. Growing up. Becoming a Big Boy. I am suddenly terrified, for I know what happens when adorable little boys go to school. First they become kids, which isn't really so bad. The learning and writing and spelling can be kind of cute. But after kidhood comes adolescence, which occasionally is still nice, but then (oh, shudders), you will eventually become a teenager. Teenager! Outrageous! I won't have it, Bug, I'm just letting you know that right off the bat. I like you the way you are - silly and sweet and unselfconscious and stubborn and absolutely delightful. What's going to happen when you go to school?

Will you still want to go camping with me? Will you still stay up all night reading Dick and Jane over and over and over again?

Will you eventually become so self-aware that you don't pee in public anymore?

Will you become sufficiently self-contained to sit still and patiently while Mom cuts your hair?

I hope you don't become too self-conscious to kiss your sisters whenever they demand it.

I hope you don't ever get "too cool" to snuggle up with me and Big Dog for a nice afternoon snuggle-book.

Sigh. Oh, Bug. I'm glad you're growing and learning and becoming the wonderful person you will one day be. More than anything I just regret that I'm missing so much of it, all the way out here in Texas. I'm aware that I can't really force you to stay five years old and adorable for the rest of your life. I know that one day you'll get braces, and then your voice will change and eventually you'll probably think that video games are more fun than exploring in the woods (though dear lord, I hope that day never comes). I know your voice will change and you'll crush opponents on the football field and then will come algebra and back hair. And in all likelihood, you will still be an absolutely wonderful teddy bear of a human being, a person who makes everybody around them happier just by being there. I know this, and I promise I won't try to freeze you in time too much, but only if you promise me one thing:


I love you, kiddo. Happy kindergarten.

Your adoring older sister,
Amazing Cheastypants.


Prunella Jones said...

Aw, what an adorable little guy! No wonder you hate the thought of him growing up. Look at that grin! I hope he has a great time in kindergarten.

Don't worry though, if he's anything like most of the guys I know he'll always delight in peeing in public. After a few too many beers anyway. ;)

onebadmamajama said...

What an awesome post! Little boys are the greatest, aren't they? I don't think you have to worry..sounds like his big sis has got his back and he'll be just fine:)

Sarah Alaoui said...

you're adorable, your little brother is adorable, this post is ADORABLE.

My little brother just started second grade, and the #1 thing I'll miss when I go off to college again in 7 days (yes, we're counting down the days) is him. AYSO games...when he scores a goal, he screams "ZIDANE!" and runs around with his finger held up like it's a World Cup...go-fish games...yes I cheat, then we start over again...baking cookies with me--will he always want to bake with me?

little brothers are the best, now I must go pick mine up :)

Cheasty said...

Pru - likely you're right about the public urination. a few months ago i had the odd experience of dragging him kicking and screaming through a grocery store (looking for a bathroom) scolding him, "No, Bug, you may NOT pee on the flower and fern display. You must use a toilet." He was not happy with me, but I bribed him with gumdrops.

obmj - little boys are indeed the greatest. glad you enjoyed the post!

Sarah - sounds like you've got a healthy dose of ADORABLE on your end, too. cheat until he can out-cheat you, then scream "No fair, you cheated!" and tell your mom on him. :)

Kate said...


My sweet little buddy (CB, as I call him) is the one I want your sister to fall in love with. I remember those moments with him; I am glad that you have photographic evidence of your precious moments with Bug.

Sarah Alaoui said...

haha you tell on your brother too? yes, I'm 19, and I blackmail my 7-year-old brother by threats of telling my mother on him. proud tattletale.

Frank Irwin said...

Dear Chestypants,

Will you be my big sister?

Your future little bro,

Cheasty said...

Kate - don't cry! which sister do you want to fall in lub with your brudder?

Sarah - as my mother taught me, the best defense is an offense. all's fair in love and siblinghood. :)

Frank - yes.

Kate said...

Either one I guess. But it would be more convenient for the one in NC.

Hope you get over your cold soon.

Renny said...

Aww, I can't believe he's starting kindergarten!! How is Captain Mommypants holding up?

Cheasty said...

Captain Mommypants is holding up fine, Renny. At first she was nervous about letting him go, but then she saw how much fun he was having there and could relax. Now she's just loving having a few hours to herself everyday - and she's EXERCISING!!

Kate - all right, i'll start working on my sisters.

Frank Irwin said...

Hmmm... Maybe I should have thought that through better. My fantasy just became kinda icky.

Anonymous said...

By the way I have a sneaking suspicion Bug is going to kill you one day when he figures out you posted a pic of him with his pants down. But it's pretty darn cute all the same.

- Cookie

Cheasty said...

Frank - ew.

Cookie - indubitably. :)