Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Out of the Closet, Birdie.

Well, my poppets, it is as I have long suspected. My cute little dog Birdie is in the closet. I grew suspicious when she peed like a boy dog, and my suspicions solidified into a theory when she marked territory every two feet on our walks around the neighborhood. But today, my suspicions were confirmed. Birdie is in the closet, and I don't know how to make her feel safe enough to come out.

This morning after our walk, Birdie was lounging about on the couch, curled up on her favorite fish pillow. A pillow, I ought to note, that my friends and I call the "gay fish pillow" due to it's festive rainbow color scheme.

I was making toast for breakfast in the kitchen, and I guess the toaster got a little overzealous in its toastiness, because next thing I knew the smoke alarm was going off right overhead. And Birdie, my deaf little doggie, who probably hasn't heard anything since the New Kids on the Block were popular... well let's just say she HEARD that smoke alarm and it scared the ever-loving shitballs out of her. She jumped about three feet high in the air, spun around in a tight circle a few times looking for the attackers, and then, seeing nothing (cause she's blind), leapt off the sofa, streaked across the kitchen, and darted into the back corner of my closet. She has been there now for 30 minutes, and nothing can induce her to leave - not snacks, not snuggles, not her favorite blanket.

Can you see her? She's that little black munchkin hiding under my dress. Here's a closer look.

Come out of the closet, Birdie! It's safe out here, I promise.


Frank Irwin said...

"I've got a nice cuttlefish for you. Come out, Birdie!"

Kate said...

"ever-loving shitballs" made me laugh out loud.

I'll send my dad over pronto, surely her love of him could entice her!

Cheasty said...

Prank Irwin, I am sad, for I know not what you are quoting. :(

Kate, you keep your dad away from my dog. He'll just seduce her away from me and then i'll be devastated and it'll be all your fault!

Frank Irwin said...

After watching 5 hours of it?

Oh, well, I guess you were in a swinish state at the time.

It was from Monty Python's Dead Parrot sketch.

Frank Irwin said...

Parrot Sketch

Is Birdie out, yet?

Cheasty said...

yes, she's out. she's cuddled up on the couch with a hot water bottle, as apparently temps in the 60s are just too too cold for her sensitive little system. oh, the shivers!

Frank Irwin said...

Yeah, I was thinking that I may have to put on some pants, if it doesn't warm up soon. I think the 90's are expected for the weekend.

Kevin said...

The picture of Birdie looks like it should be in a Spanish textbook with the word "perro negro" under it. I think it's the design of the pillow.