It's because we have people like this. I don't know whether you watch the Ellen DeGeneres show. I don't generally, though I like her, but sometimes I catch something viral that she does, like for example, THIS completely hilarious episode, otherwise known as The Hawaii Chair. But I digress. Watch this conversation Ellen has with Austinite Gladys Hardy, and then try really hard not to want to move here. Gladys Hardy is solid gold.