Wednesday, January 16, 2008

What's Your Handle, Good Buddy?

I'm intrigued, even entranced, by a character study currently in process. Since I'm doing this blog, I need to come up with secret names for all my family members and good friends, so that whatever potentially incriminating information I post about them up here can in no way be traced back to the source without some serious detective work. What is funny about this is how some people know in a heartbeat what their handle ought to be, while others do some serious dithering, seeming incapacitated by the sheer enormity of choosing a new online identity. Case in point, my friend The Great Nameless One. Despite intensive wrangling over dinner tonight, he remains nameless. Here is my nameless friend.

Don't be fooled by this grim expression. The Great Nameless One is probably the sweetest guy in creation, and this is one of the rare instances when I've seen him without a smile. Tonight as he tried to wrangle with the overwhelming possibility of having a new name, however, he looked about this grim. The Great Nameless One, you see, is a dreamer. A man who sees possibility in every circumstance, adventure around every corner. He just could not decide. So I threw a few at him. "Hey, Great Nameless One, how about Santana? How about Traveler? How about Apollo? How about The Dawn Treader? How about Cockroach?

He thought that one was funny.

Anyway, the point is, some people knew in an instant, without even having to think. Like Octavia, for instance. I said, "Hey, what do you want your handle to be on my blog?" Instantly, and I do mean INSTANTLY, she shot back, "Octavia." Wow. I mean, what the heck? How did you know that? Who's Octavia, anyway? Is this a name you've secretly desired to command as your own for more than the past 10 nanoseconds? The answers to these questions are unimportant. The point is, Octavia knew. But then, Octavia, for all her wild adventures and curious mind, is a practical woman. The Great Nameless One wouldn't know practical if it bit him on the ass. It takes all kinds. Love you, GNO, even if you never pick a name.


Jenna said...

Yay, you're blogging! This feels so much less like being a weirdo cheastypants stalker (ahem, fan) than when I had k-ski forward me your witty email updates from central america. you knew about that right? :)

colie said...

it should be Gino. get it? GNO?

Cheasty said...

oh, that's cool, colie, cause he's italian! i'll run that by him, although he read the post and told me that he wanted to be called "Moustache." or maybe just "Stache." I told him i'd think about it.