Today a street lady chased me down the street with a big rock and almost bashed my head in. Really? Did I just type that? Did that actually happen? Yes. I was just walking down the sidewalk on my way to the radio station where I had an interview scheduled, and I saw this lady sitting with her back to the wall. Clearly homeless, clearly a little crazy. As I walked past her, she looked right at me with this sort of odd look, and then picked up a rock about the size of a cantaloupe melon. She got up and started walking after me, bearing down on me from behind. I was watching her out of the corner of my eye, but when she started getting too close, I turned and looked at her in the face. And she started running at me with the rock poised up high, so I started running away from her, and then she threw the rock at me. At my head! Luckily, she missed, but OH MY GOD. For real?
The weirdest part of the whole thing was how quiet it all was. I mean, she never said anything, didn't even grunt or squeal when she threw the rock. And I never said anything, nor did I make any noise, even when the rock whizzed past me and crashed to the sidewalk in front of me. I just kept running. About 50 feet further on I stopped and looked back, only to see that she was walking calmly away from me back to her little spot on the sidewalk. So on I went, just wondering what the fuck had just happened.
I mean seriously, Managua. If you want to rob me or hit me, let's just get it over with already, ok? The señora of the house I live in got robbed at gunpoint right in front of our house last month, on Monday of this week some guy got shot and killed just 20 feet from our front door. Today after crazy rock throwing lady, a guy came running across the street in my direction. He wasn't aiming for me, or doing anything bad, he was just dodging traffic and moving kind of fast, but I almost jumped out of my skin. Let me be absolutely clear: I DO NOT want to get robbed or shot or brained by a crazy lady. But there's such an air of inevitability to it, to the statistical probability that it will happen, and I'm SO SICK of just waiting for it to happen. Gah.