Me: Hey Umulu, why do you have a big bandage on your thumb?
Umulu: Oh, I was chopping vegetables the other night and I accidentally cut off the tip of my finger.
Me: Oh, my God, are you OK? Was it like a tiny bit off the top, or a big chunk?
Umulu: Well, I looked down and there was the tip of my finger. Like a recognizable chunk of fingertip.
Me: Jeez, that's wild. What'd you do with it?
Umulu: I threw it down the garbage disposal.
Me: (heavy thunking noise as I hit the floor in a dead faint.)