I think it's time for an intervention. Last Saturday, under pretenses of "going for a walk," (HA!) my devious sister Umulu lured me to the Town Lake Animal Shelter, and, naturally, we walked out with a cat. "A cat?!" say some of you who know me well. Yes, a cat. I know, I know, the AmazingPants Clan has long been of the dog persuasion, but Umulu was seriously jonesing for an animal to snuggle with, but what with being out of town for a couple of days every other week, a dog looked to be an impractical solution. So a cat it is, and ladies and gentleman, as a fervent dog person, even I have to say that this is one fine, fine feline. He's affectionate, friendly, soft, a purr machine, housetrained. What's not to love? He's an 11 lb. wonderball. But friends, we have a problem. Umulu can not decide on a name.
Now when I say that she can't decide on a name, I don't mean to imply that Umulu is in any way dithering. No dithering here. Umulu is many things, but a ditherer is not one of them. No. Rather, she acts decisively, moving ahead swiftly and with assurance when convinced she has made the right decision. So it's not so much a case of this poor cat having no name, as it is a case of the cat having too many names. Here's the situation. In a little less than a week this charming fluffball has been the proud owner of no less than SEVEN NAMES. Yes, that's right, a gasp of dismay was the correct reaction. You may do it again, if it'll make this news any easier to bear. Here's a list.
Malvolio. (This is where I got off the name train, unable to bear the constant upheaval. To me he will always be Malvolio.)
She went so far as to have "Toby" engraved on his name tag, only to get home and find herself calling him "Peanut." At this point I despair of the cat ever having a proper name, but here's the thing that makes it all somehow easier to bear. He doesn't know his name anyway, so really, who's she hurting? What we've got here is just one very lucky little cat who couldn't be happier to be in his new home, even if he does want Mom to put him down so he can go chase some dust mites.