Wednesday, April 15, 2009

The Worst Album Covers Ever. (A Re-Run)

I was doodling around the other day on the internet and I went back to see what I was doing this time last year. April, that'd be, and the answer was: quietly dying of stress from taking my comprehensive qualifying exams. Strangely, perhaps because I was desperate to do anything other than my studying, I did some of my best blogging back then. I found the following post, which I hadn't thought of in forever, and it made me laugh all over again. So today, on a beautiful spring day when I actually can go play outside (as opposed to being chained to a desk under a mountain of heavy history tomes), I'm just going to re-post this album cover blog. 'Cause it's funny. And 'cause I want to go ride my bike.

April 23, 2008:

I don't remember where I actually got these pictures (some random email forward, I think), but I saved the pdf and every now and then I go back and look again, just to have a laugh when I really need one. Right now what I need is A) a good laugh, and B) a quick and easy blog post so that I can keep working on my comps. So here you go, my friends. Some of the worst album covers ever created in the human universe. And, of course, my commentary.

Yes you can, you sexy devil. You can borrow some L-O-V-E, and then give it right back to me.

Geraldine knows this because Ricky told her so. And Ricky speaks only the truth.

I can say nothing to make this funnier.

"Don't worry, sweetheart. Nobody will know you're pregnant for at least another couple of months. By that time I'll have sold all my beaver skins and made us a nice tidy fortune to live on. Now be a good girl and quit crying so I can finish my beer."

Ah, the McKeithens. In case of musical emergency, Mrs. McKeithen keeps an accordion in her beehive. (Grammar geeks of the world, spot that horrifyingly misplaced punctuation!)

Ummmmm... And all these years I thought all you could see in a crystal ball was the future.

It's like gay porn, but even gayer! (This one's for you, Fairy King. ;)

No, Jasper, I think God wants you to wear the EXTRA small sweatervest.

No, really. That's him right behind us.

Now performing live at the Palladium with her equally miraculous co-stars, the Great Footless Tapdancer, and the Amazing Lipless Harmonica Player!

My favorite songs are "Blinded By the Light," "I Can See Clearly Now the Rain Is Gone," and "Tell Me Have You Seen Her?" (Yes, I'm going to hell for that one.)

Ew. Words escape me.


Frank Irwin said...

If my future is in that crystal ball, then my future is going, "Brbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbbbrbrbrbr."

Kate said...

I loved them last year, and they have only improved with age! How disgusting, amusing, disturbing and sad!

Lindsey said...

I remember these! They're just as scary one year later. Words almost fail me.

Cheasty said...

Frank, you're a dirty boy.

Kate and Lindsey, glad you liked them again, for the very first time. ;)

Anonymous said...

hahaha i love these! i think joyce might be my favorite! i mean, really. just *look* at her!!! now thats a good time gal!!

The Fairy King

Kate said...

I went to the thrift store today to find some cheap maternity clothes. Unfortunately most everything they had looked like something Mrs. Duggar would wear. Bummer. While there I strolled past the vinyl section. Had my nausea not been having an "up" day I would have purchased some lovely albums that would have been able to compete with the doozies you have here.

Cheasty said...

Oh, F.K. I know! She's hilarious, but Julie's 16th Birthday is truly my favorite. I just can't help myself!

And Kate? Who's Mrs Duggar?

Kate said...

That show on either TLC or Discovery Health where they have the 18 kids...the mom is Mrs. Duggar. VERY old-fashioned, but great with her hoard of kids (so my mom says.)

Dr Zibbs said...