Oh, lawsie. Remember when I told you about the paper that my advisor told me was "a disaster?" I just got feedback on my second attempt, and the relief I feel is enough to melt rubber. Seriously, I almost wet myself. If I hadn't been sitting down when I got the news, I might have fallen down, all weak in the knees. I sent her a second draft yesterday, had anxiety dreams all night, and when I got her email this morning, I got a nervous tummy before I clicked it open. It said, and I quote: "Hi, a few things, very few, to clean up and it is a wrap! Much better than better!"
Much better than better. I keep saying that over and over in my head.
Hoooooooooooo. is that a word? It's the noise I make when blowing out a long breath of relief, half way between "who" and "ho." Anyway, that's the noise I made. Thank you, Magic, I'm glad you came back when I needed you. I read through the notes, and she wasn't kidding. One split infinitive, a couple of places where I used the same word twice within a couple of lines of itself, a quibble over word choice, and that was it. At the end of the paper she'd written, "A WRAP AND NOW WORTHY OF YOUR EFFORT! A VERY NICE JOB!" This professor is pretty notorious for tearing work apart. She's like a machine, with a zero tolerance policy on bullshit. That woman can smell spin a million miles away, and she tells it like it is. Some people don't like her style, and I'll be the first to admit that it's really hard to take when somebody says your work is a disaster. But here's what I like. She's brutally honest when it's bad, but by the same token, when she says it's good, she's not just blowing sunshine. It's good.
My secret fears going into comps were two things. One, disappointing my professors (and myself) by not doing the best job I could do. And two, I've lately feared that if this professor didn't like what I'd produced for my portfolio that I was going to run out of time. If that happened, I'd have to give up and re-schedule comps for September. Four more months of this monster hanging over my head? I'd rather jump.
So to say the least, I feel better. In fact, I feel better than better. One more paper to go, two more days to do it. Rock on, Cheastypants. I think I can really do this.