Saturday, May 10, 2008

Stick a Fork In Me.

I clicked save on my last paper at 9:15 tonight, and ran out the door to go proctor the final exam for the class I TA. When I got there my professor, who might be the sweetest most understanding and kindest woman in the world, looked at me and said (kind of cautiously, like you would to a crazy person), "So, how's it going?"

I looked at her blankly for a second and then, for the first time, I said these words: "I'm done."

"That's great!" she exclaimed. I don't know why, but I just didn't have it in me to smile or look happy or ANYTHING NORMAL, and I'm pretty sure I was just staring at her like a tripped out zombie, so she filled the awkward silence, saying, "Well, Cheasty, you look a little shell-shocked."

And I started to cry.

Honestly, I have no explanation, other than tremendous stress-relief. These past two weeks have been hell. I can hardly sleep, and when I do I have nightmarish anxiety dreams like I've never had before in my life. And I, who love good food more than anything, have been so stressed that I CAN'T EAT. The thought of food makes me want to yawp all over the place, and I've got this constant pain at the top of my tummy. I've lost 6 pounds, though which is nice, if I don't mind putting it right back on as soon as I start eating again. Six pounds in two weeks. I should market this stuff.

So there I sat, crying helplessly and feeling like, COULD this be any more inappropriate? I should be laughing, dancing, leaping from rooftops! And in my head I know all about weird stress reactions, but jeez.

Well, there you have it. Tomorrow and Monday I'll grade exams all day, but Tuesday and Wednesday I am devoting to sloth and indolence. And wine. Don't forget the wine. Of course, Thursday it starts all over again, as I prepare for my Oral Defense on May 23rd, but somehow I feel ok, like I've crossed the major hurdle, and from here on out, I'll be fine.

Tonight, however, I will open a bottle of wine, drink two glasses, and sleep like a baby. You know why? Cause I'm done.

La, la, la, la, LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!


PrincessPi said...

Yay, Cheasty! Enjoy your wine. Ooh, and you should have cheese with it. What's better than cheese and wine? And 18 hours of sleep. You deserve it, homey.

Juandrea said...

Congrat Cheasty! I'm so proud of you!!! You are an inpiration. Enjoy your sloth and your wine!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ashesh said...

Congratualtions!!! Nice job!