Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Staving Off the Grumpies

I wish I had something clever, amusing, interesting, and enlightening to share today, but I don't. I'm staving off the grumpies. My oral defense is on Friday and I've been doing nothing but cramming books in my face at a dizzying and potentially dangerous rate of speed. In order to minimize distraction, I've been staying at my professor's house while I dogsit her pooch for a few days, and I have cut all ties with the outside world. Except for a few walks around the block with the doggie, and one run to the grocery store, I haven't left Casa de Studyville since Saturday. I am unbelievably boring.

Actually, though, here's a thought for the day. Back in college I was on the rowing team and on long road trips my teammates and I would go to stupid lengths to entertain ourselves. One game was a perennial favorite: Name That Disgusting Yogurt Flavor Combination. We'd cackle and gag with glee, throwing out vomitacious ideas like "maple syrup and pickle," or "black olive and peanut butter." Each game would get progressively more disgusting until finally somebody would just shout "poop!" and it'd be over. Cause really, what's more disgusting than poop-flavored yogurt.

Well the marvelous dog I'm babysitting this week is sort of like that game. You know mutts fall in generally predictable categories: shitszu/maltese mix, poodle/lab mix, etc. This dog, however, is a mix between a greyhound and a border collie. I don't know how many of you are dog people, but those of you who are, pick yourself up from that dead faint on the floor. No, I don't know how it happened, but wow. This combination is amazing. Border collies are working dogs, one of the most active, intelligent, active, and did I mention ACTIVE dogs in the world, never content unless they're herding or working or DOING something, while greyhounds are... well. Highstrung and very very fast? I don't know how else to describe them, except perhaps "deadly to furry rabbits." Poor puppy. Her life as a suburban housedog must be profoundly unsatisfying. Don't get me wrong; she's cute and affectionate, and all that is good about dogs, especially when she remembers to take her anti-anxiety medication, but man. All I want to do is take her out to a huge field of sheep (hold the rabbits) and let her run and run and work and work.

So here's your task of the day. Either A) give me a yogurt flavor combination that will make everybody who reads it spontaneously throw up in their mouths, or B) tell me another fantastic mutt combo. I'm suddenly intrigued.


Lindsey said...

How about sardine and blueberry yogurt?

Anonymous said...

How about Bouvier Des Flandres and Lhasapoo yogurt? You get the best of all worlds...dog flavored yogurt that sounds sophisticated and incorporates poo!


Sam said...

Strawberry escargot yogurt.

And as for dogs, my little guy is called a Silky Poo (he's a Silky Terrier and a Bichon Frise). It makes me laugh everytime someone asks. It sounds more like a medical condition than a dog breed. It's not a fantastic combination just slightly relevant and funny. :)

Cheasty said...

wow. sardines and blueberry almost made me throw up for real, as did the strawberry and snails. unbelievably, nobody ever came up with either of those two fantastically repulsive options.

and andrew! dog yogurt. again, i vomit.

i used to have a dog that was called a schnoodle (schnauzer and poodle). hehe. schnoodle. it sounds like german food.

Anonymous said...

Her Royal Highness, The Honorable Dutchess, Princess Riley Doodle Britches takes offense to the german food reference... she is far to pretty to be refered to as a Bratworust. however, Gracie was kinda Bratworust like i think... fits her well i would say.

As for the yogurt, how about Sourkraut and Peach?

Alison said...

Hmmm blue cheese and vanilla chai?

H-SPO said...

How about meatloaf yogurt?

Sarah McBride said...

I had a friend who had a chow great dane mix.
seriously the wierdest dog ever. It was kind of chunky and fluffy, but tall and lanky like a great dane as well. I cant really describe it. Luckily it had the temperment of the dane rather than the chow. His name was Chewbacca.

Anonymous said...

my submission for worst yogurt:

"Texas Popourri"
essence of homeless person sweat, chunks of I35 pavement, shavings of cedar fever, yellow numbers 5 and 7, dash of Matthew McConaughey's weed, bluebonnets.

mmmmmm! now that's tasty!!!!!


jchel said...

Our neighbors have a Chihuahua/Lab mix. Take a second and wrap you brain around it.....the visual is kinda scary...(see post below). And yes, the Lab was the mom. I've always said Chihuahua's were to "big for their britches" and this just proves it. ;o)

How 'bout creamed spinach and peach cobbler...now with chunky goodness!

Cheasty said...

Dear lord. I have unleashed the creative impulses of the collective internet's repressed inner five year old. These are, without a doubt, superlatively disgusting yogurts (and a few BIZARRE mutt mixes). I congratulate you, one and all. Now I'm going to wash the taste of barf off the back of my tongue.

Maybe we'll have a contest: choose the grossest yogurt combo. Coming soon, to a cheastypants near you.

Cary said...

I'd like to see a Newfoundland-Yorkshire mix... a New Yorkie.

Or a Chow-Schnauzer mix... Chowzer.

Or a Pug + Poodle, or Puggle

Or a Plott-Pug mix, i.e, a Plugg

Or a Plott-Rottweiler, or Plottweiler.

Or a Siberian Husky + Whippet.. a Siberian Whiskey