Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Everything's Bigger in Texas

You know how people say that everything is bigger in Texas? Well, that's mostly true. For example, jackrabbits are the size of dogs, as demonstrated on this blog just the other day.  Our state capitol building was supposed to be bigger than the U.S. Capitol, but near the end of construction they measured it, and oops!  Hang on, let's throw a statue on top of the dome, and ok, NOW it's bigger than the U.S. Capitol building.  This "bigger is better" mentality is probably because Texas itself is so enormous that it has to make things huger so everything doesn't look strangely tiny, like a teeny little head on an enormous basketball player. Strange. But every now and then, Texas likes to show the world, "Hey world, look at me. I can make things that are small, too!" Take for example, this little fellow:



I know, you can hardly see him. Look up near the fingernail. That, my friends, is a teensy-tinsy, itsy-bitsy, ittle-wittle worm. Do not be deceived, however, by his ittle-wittle cuteness. This dude is trying very very hard to take a chunk out of my friend Ish's finger. He uses the old "rear and plunge" technique. It's time-tested, trial-approved, but in this case his ittle-wittle pincers are too ittle-wittle to get a hang on Ish's skin. hehe. ittle-wittle. Why on earth would I use a word like that? Is that even a word?



But what if I'm deliberately deceiving you? What if the very idea of "little" is anathema to the Texas zeitgeist? What if, instead of this worm being little, what if, in Texas, we have really, really....


really....



really...


really....


BIG FINGERS!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!! Oh, gasp, weep, heee heeeee heeeee, hooo hooo hooooooo. 

God, I'm funny.

3 comments:

Alison said...

Brilliant, I tell you, brilliant. Glad you're having fun with your humongous fingers. But since I live in Texas I guess that would mean mine are huge too! It's amazing how quickly you lose perspective in such an enormous state.

Cheasty said...

I keep imagining what waqasita would say if he read this. I bet it would start with something like "you know what ELSE is huge, eh?" nudge, nudge! wink wink!

send me a post to put up here, alison!

Supna said...

This is by far your funniest post I have read so far!! :)

Good job!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!